


Asked and Answered

by pagerunner



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Brief mention of Past Abuse, F/M, Perc'ahlia, also everyone is bi here i don't make the rules, but mostly the tone stays light, e094-e095 Timeskip (Critical Role)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 19:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagerunner/pseuds/pagerunner
Summary: Vex and Percy sit down together for a game of questions about sex, romance, and unspoken confessions, and a little about their lives before they met each other. Banter and naughtiness quickly ensue. Set during the timeskip, and only mildly spoilery.





	Asked and Answered

_i._

Vex began with confident answers, ticked one by one upon her fingers: “Zahra.”

“Well, that much is patently obvious.”

“Jarrett.”

“Again, unsurprising. You started ogling him on day one.”

She paused in her counting. “Well, Percy, this was about honest opinions, not novelty.”

“True. Still, like you said: no confession off limits. You might as well take the chance to surprise me.”

Vex sat back and adjusted her sleek, barely-there robe, mulling over her options. “Well, then. If I could pick someone else to shag, no penalty, no judgment…and no telling this person or anyone else, it’s just between us…”

“Exactly,” Percy agreed, perhaps a bit hastily, because that had been his condition on agreeing to any of this to begin with.

“Hmm.” Her eyes lit. “Oh, I’ve got a good one. Captain Adella.”

“The sea captain?”

“Yes. We’d be scandalous lovers and pirate queens and lay waste to the high seas.” Vex laughed. “That’s it. The perfect life. Why did I agree to marry you again?”

Percy stretched one long leg out far enough to kick her shin. Vex giggled, a bit tipsily, and downed the rest of her Green Tear.

They were sitting together in their bedroom in Whitestone, whiling away a lazy evening over an assortment of drinks. Percy had brought the bottles, and Vex had brought the game: a sort of truth or dare without the dares, poking into what kinds of desires or romantic secrets they might not have shared with each other yet. Percy had approached it with trepidation, not entirely sure what Vex was after, but she had assured him, “It’s just for fun. And maybe for some ideas.”

The way she’d winked hadn’t settled his nerves, but it had been enough to entice Percy to play along.

“Well,” he said at last, settling more comfortably into his own chair. “I admit, I could see you as a pirate.”

“Captain Vex’ahlia. It’s got a ring to it.” She tapped one fingertip atop her empty glass. “Or maybe I’d just be known as The Baroness. Every pirate needs a good title.”

“It would especially suit you if you went for airship piracy.”

“That’s just you angling to finally get that airship you want.”

He held up one hand. “Guilty as charged.”

Vex smirked knowingly, then slid down in her chair so that she could stretch out one bare foot and tap his leg. “In any case…it’s your turn.”

“My turn. Oh, gods. All right.” He took another gulp of whiskey. “You know, I spent a fair amount of time trying not to think about any romantic interests at all, so…”

“That much was obvious,” Vex interrupted, a touch acerbically, “although it’s ironic for the only one of us to really _have_ a one-night stand during all of this.” Her nose wrinkled. “Taryon’s experiments notwithstanding.”

Percy didn’t pay much attention to her qualification. He’d closed his eyes and covered half his face with one hand already, his fingers nudging his glasses askew. “One time. That was _one time._ ”

“That’s pretty much the definition of a one-night stand, yes.”

He pulled his hand down his cheek and looked at her. “I can’t even say I decided to do it. It just sort of happened.”

“Well, it was quite a night. But after all that, I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one in this room who has a bit of a thing for tieflings.”

Fearing he was beginning to blush, Percy said, “Fine. If you want me to say Lillith, I’ll say Lillith. Although I should point out, that time we all disguised ourselves as tieflings? You made a very attractive tiefling yourself.”

“So did you,” Vex said, her gaze raking approvingly over him. “But you’re changing the subject again.”

Percy spread his hands in concession and continued. “Well…I’d have to say that I found Kashaw attractive. Physically, at least. Mood-wise, less so.”

Vex grinned suddenly. “Oh, I _thought_ you were making eyes at him that one time.”

“I was not making eyes at anyone.”

“But you still made a point of saying how pretty _his_ eyes were.”

“Not in so many words. But…yes.”

“All right, then, there’s one. Anyone else?”

“I suppose it would be terrible to admit that as much as your brother and I would not be compatible, he’s…”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Vex said, probably mercifully, “and assume that it’s a matter of similar appearance, so obviously being attracted to this”—she waved at herself—“would account for it. And then I’m not going to think about it anymore.”

“That’s for the best.” Percy looked into his glass. It was distressingly empty. “Adella was rather fetching, I’d have to agree on that point…”

“Threesome, then?” Vex suggested blithely.

“I…ah.” She laughed. Percy resisted the immature urge to kick her again. “And I guess there’s other people I’ve known who were attractive enough. But…”

When he hesitated, Vex stepped in to tease, “Didn’t you get struck blind in the Feywild for ogling some gorgeous nymph? Helpless against her beauty, were you?”

He definitely blushed that time. “That also just _happened_. It wasn’t deliberate.”

“And half the time you start wheeling and dealing with some evil thing, it sounds like you’re flirting.”

“I beg your pardon!”

“I mean, consider you and Raishan,” Vex said, unfazed. She traced one finger around the rim of her glass until it hummed, mischief glinting in her eyes. “You did seem to enjoy all the sparring with her.”

“I think you missed my panic attacks in between conversations.”

“Still. What an idea. Sex with a _dragon._ Who can say they’ve done that?”

“Very few,” Percy said, “since I imagine almost anyone would get eaten alive in the attempt.”

“You did well with her, though.” She arched one elegant eyebrow. “Except maybe for the attempted stabbing. A bit premature. Not terribly subtle with the phallic metaphors.”

Percy shut his eyes again. “I am definitely going to need another drink,” he said. Vex broke out into a peal of laughter.

“Another round, then,” she told him. “And another question. And we’ll see about, oh, _probing_ into things a little deeper.”

“I cannot believe you just said that,” Percy said, but reached for the bottle to refill both glasses, even as Vex began to laugh even louder.

—

_ii._

“So…would you tell me about your first kiss?”

The question was Percy’s to Vex, although she’d been the first to suggest the topic, before they even sat down together. By now they’d moved from the chairs to the floor, after Vex had grown tired of the formal seating and thrown a pile of cushions across the plush rugs instead. Nonplussed, Percy kicked off his boots, joined her, and propped himself against a pillow while he started drinking his second helping of whiskey.

Vex, who’d thrown her drink back with abandon already, stretched out on her back and sought her answer somewhere on the ceiling. “You know, I’m not even sure if I remember. Elran, maybe? Oh, no, wait—Illador. Definitely Illador.” She snickered at some private memory. “I didn’t even like him. I just had a phase of flirting with every desperately inappropriate match I could think of.”

“To irritate your father, I presume?”

“To irritate everyone. Put competitors off their game. Scandalize as many people as possible.” Her smile became a bit edged. “Vax was worried I’d get myself in trouble, but I knew when to stop, and I could fend off anyone who got too handsy. Or I could sic Trinket on them.”

“That would get the point across,” he said. “Did you ever have to?”

“Only once.” Her tone went flat before amusement crept back in. “But there was one time he just wandered into the middle of things unannounced. The _shrieking_ that ensued, you’d never believe it.”

“Oh, I might.”

Vex, looking as much like a proud bear mama as anything else, grinned. “Anyway. I had my fun. On my own terms. And I left on my own terms, too, when the time was right.”

“So,” he said softly. “Breaking hearts left and right?”

She eyed him, knowing what he was echoing and why. “Maybe, although I doubt most of them had much of a heart to be broken. Noble elven assholes. You know the type.”

He _hmm_ -ed quietly. “And who was this Illador person?”

“Another archer in training. I bested him in every possible way.”

Percy laughed low in his throat. “I would expect nothing less.”

“So what about you, Percy? Who was your first kiss?”

He leaned back, too, and sighed. “Also someone desperately inappropriate, although for less entertaining reasons.”

“Do tell.”

He rubbed his forehead and began trying to set the scene. “My sister Whitney—”

“Your _sister_?”

“Not _her,_ ” he said, looking appalled. “It was one of her horrible friends, and for the record, I was ambushed.”

“Ah. I’m sensing a story here.”

“Not much of one. More of a case of bored young women deciding that they needed to get in some kissing practice before their longed-for paramours arrived to sweep them off their feet, and I was the only candidate at hand.”

“Oh, _Percy._ ”

“Stop sounding like you’re about to burst out laughing at me again.”

“I would never,” she lied.

Percy sighed. “No one even warned me,” he said, a bit plaintively. “I was minding my own business in the library, and then…”

“Sudden horde of lovesick girls?”

“Not lovesick for me, I take pains to note. But ‘horde’ effectively sums it up.”

“So how would you grade the experience?”

“It went exactly as dreadfully as you might imagine. There was flailing. And an overset bookcase. And a mild concussion from volume 4 of _An Ornithological Study of Tal’Dorei_ clocking me on the head. _Don’t laugh_.”

Vex failed entirely at that, but she did her best to wave it off. “Well. Disaster or not, that’s a fair answer. I think it’s time for another drink. Did you bring any of the Courage?”

“What, do you think you’ll need some?”

“Oh, this is not for me.”

He swore under his breath, even as he sat up and reached for the requested bottle. “Do I even want to know what you’re after this time?”

She told him while he was pouring. Percy’s hand wobbled in midair, making the bottle swerve dangerously, and far more liquor sloshed into his glass than he’d been intending. Vex grinned while he tried to recover.

“This,” she said, gently prizing the bottle from his grip and suggestively licking away a stray drop from the rim, “is going to be fun.”

—

_iii._

“So you want to know about masturbation.”

“Yes, I do.”

“What I used to fantasize about. How I’d go about it.”

“Precisely.”

“And you want this outlined in detail.”

“It wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without.”

Percy glowered, unconvinced on one point. “Why aren’t you going first this time? You did with the last two questions.”

“That’s exactly the point.” Vex propped herself up on one side. “I’m not going to open _every_ door for you, darling. So go on.”

“I am still not drunk enough for this,” Percy said, even though his head was beginning to swim. He could only hope that soon enough, the alcohol would help him not to care. Or maybe just to forget all of this later. “All right. If you must, picture me at…oh, let’s say fifteen. Gangly, skinny, heavy glasses, mop of dark hair.”

“I still cannot picture you with brown hair,” Vex murmured, reaching over to brush back a lock from his forehead. He hummed softly at the touch, but pulled himself back on track.

“I was hardly a social butterfly, and I wasn’t the biggest catch of my family, so I was largely left to my own devices. I preferred it that way. I didn’t really seek anyone out. Which isn’t to say I didn’t have a few…notions.”

“Notions,” Vex repeated, drawing it out. “Is that the word?”

“What word were you hoping for?”

“I don’t know. ‘Desires,’ maybe. Or ‘urges.’ Or ‘inappropriately timed erections.’”

Percy choked on a gulp of his drink, which only made Vex laugh again. When he shot her a dirty look, she pointed out, “I have a brother, need I remind you. I witnessed his teenage years. I could tell you stories.”

“Please don’t,” Percy said hoarsely, then coughed and had to start over. “In any case—fuck, this stuff is strong—”

“I know,” Vex said smugly. He ignored that and tried to forge ahead.

“There I was with this…oh, dawning awareness of wanting _something,_ even if I wasn’t sure what yet, or how to go about it. So I did what I did with most anything I wanted to learn about, which is to say…”

“You read about it, didn’t you?”

“Well…yes.”

“Of course you did,” Vex said fondly.

“The family library was rather dry on the topic, unfortunately. So I might have made off with a book of Vesper’s. She was reading this romantic saga, in translation from the Marquesian…”

An amazed smile spread across her face. “You stole a torrid, exotic romance novel and got so carried away that you wanked off to it?”

“That makes it sound so tawdry.”

“But that’s the thing,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “That’s the fun of it. The illicit thrill of it. Getting wrapped up in a wild fantasy and just _having_ to indulge. Come on, tell me. What was it like?”

“The book?”

“Everything,” she said emphatically.

“Well.” He swallowed, then decided to down another mouthful of his drink while he was at it. “Not high literature, but…it was engrossing. A clever hero, a seductive sorceress, plenty of flirting and escalating tension.” He gave Vex a look. “And sparring.”

“Oh, look,” she said lightly. “There’s that metaphor again.”

“I’m sure I wasn’t the intended audience, and I kept scoffing at the purple prose, and honestly, most of it was just outlandish and unrealistic, but…it made a certain impression.”

Vex waited expectantly. When the pause stretched out too long, she said, “I asked for  _details,_ Percy.” He shifted awkwardly. “What did you do when it started making this impression? Start getting unexpectedly aroused? Get flushed and turn the pages ever faster, just having to see more? Start touching yourself?”

“Vex,” he said, strained, but she cut him off, leaning closer.

“I can tell you my story,” she said magnanimously, “in case that helps inspire you.”

The way she’d positioned herself half above him, her robe was hanging loosely enough to inspire him in rather specific ways. Percy caught his breath. “If you must.”

Vex gave him a knowing look. Then she said, “It took me some time to figure out what I liked. And I did practice. I just discovered very quickly that I wasn’t going to learn what I needed to know from men.” She wrinkled her nose. “Those boys I’d flirted with? Self-obsessed pricks, most of them. I made the mistake of having sex with one of them. It was…disappointing.”

Percy made a sympathetic noise. Vex tossed her hair back like she was casting the thought away with the gesture.

“So I spent more time getting to know myself. It was tricky when someone else was always around, so sometimes it was just furtive little touches, trying not to give myself away. Or if I got the chance I’d take a long, hot soak and really take the time to explore.” She winked at him, wriggling two fingers. “There’s a reason I’ve always enjoyed a good bath.”

Hit by a sudden flood of mental images, Percy closed his mouth hard and tried to ignore the flush of heat stealing over him. Of course, the next thing she described only made it worse.

“The first time I really, properly came, I’d had some time to myself for once.” Vex sat back, looking down at him. “I indulged. Sprawled out, drank some stolen wine…”

“I hope you stole good wine, at least.”

“Oh, I wasn’t the one who stole it. And Vax has no taste. But I figured it would do, and I’d pay him back later.” She took another drink of the Courage, obviously enjoying the burn as it slid down her throat. “And then I just let myself think about everything I’d done that had been good, and how to make it better. Because I had the feeling that what I’d tried had been nice enough, but it was like there was something more that I hadn’t…quite…reached.”

She let her fingers trail down her sternum as she said that, her hand wandering toward interesting places.

“I’d asked a girl I knew,” she said in conspiratorial tones, slowly unlacing the sash on her robe. “Gorgeous thing. She had some advice. And so I was lying there getting warmed up, and remembering what she’d said, and then I started thinking about what it would feel like if _she_ was doing it to me…”

Percy made a helpless little noise. The robe had swung open, and Vex was rolling her shoulders, making the robe slip down and pool onto the floor behind her.

“I learned a lot of things that day,” Vex said, a little breathlessly, because her fingers were already starting to go to work. “Never forgot them.”

“Vex,” Percy said again, his voice hoarse.

She looked down at him, visibly noting the effect she was having on him. “Enjoying the view?” she asked archly.

“You know I am.”

“Well, then.” Vex paused in what she was doing to lean closer. “If you can’t tell me,” she whispered, “show me.”

She reached out, grasped his hand, and drew it down below his belt. When his hips pressed up entirely of their own volition, she smirked.

“Just like that,” she said.

He swore again, writhing for more pressure, but her hand had withdrawn, leaving it all up to him. Vex eyed him knowingly. “You get yourself off,” she told him, making it plain. “I get myself off. And we both…”

“Watch each other?”

“And learn.”

Percy kept on staring. “Whatever happened to ‘truth or dare without the dares’?”

“I lied,” she said airily, and began her work again.

This time, finally, Percy was the one to laugh. And all he could think of as a response was to start undoing his buttons and follow suit.

—

_iv._

Some while later, after they’d both fallen back onto the cushions together, Percy took a deep breath and gazed at Vex with admiration. She’d put on such a gloriously shameless display that she had, he felt, entirely earned the smug smile on her lips. When she turned his way again, though, she said, “You were _amazing,_ Percy,” and sounded like she meant it.

Percy looked down at himself. He’d removed his shirt and cleaned himself off somewhat with it, although his trousers were still awkwardly rumpled low around his hips. He’d been certain the effect was faintly ridiculous. Vex looked impressed regardless. There was probably something to be said for the prurient nature of it all: such an intense desire coming over him that he couldn’t even get fully undressed, and just _went_ for it instead, too inspired by Vex’s pleasure to do anything but chase his own.

Percy touched his torso, wiping up one stray, pale drop with a finger, and pondered it. He went a little bit warm all over again. Then with a snort at himself, he shoved his pants the rest of the way off, kicked them away, and sprawled back more comfortably next to Vex.

“You,” he told her, “surpass every fantasy I ever thought to have.”

Looking pleased, she turned to drape an arm around him. “Even the ones about seductive sorceresses and charming heroes?”

“Definitely better than those.”

She kissed him, slow and deep and exploratory, then settled her head on his chest with a sigh. Her hand—slightly sticky, as if she’d tried to wipe it clean on something, too, but missed a bit—rested on his stomach. For a minute she just lay there, feeling him breathe. He couldn’t see her face from this angle, but there was something thoughtful in her silence now.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

“Just…the things we imagine,” she said, working her way up to it. “They’re seldom close to the truth, are they?”

“A rare few things turn out to be right,” Percy said. “Usually the terrible ones.”

She snorted. Percy smiled halfway. After a second, though, she sighed.

“I’d call you a cynic,” she said reluctantly. “But there was another question I was thinking of asking, and I’m afraid in that case you might have a point.”

“What was it?”

“First times,” she admitted. “I already said mine was disappointing. And I was afraid from a few of the things you’ve said before that yours might not have been the best either.”

Percy went quiet. Vex got up far enough that she could look him in the eye. “Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up…”

“No, it’s all right.”

“Are you sure?”

Percy shrugged and sighed. “The first time depends on how you define it, I suppose. I don’t want to count one of them, really, but I suspect it’s what you’re asking after.”

Vex bit her lip. Percy felt his way around the answer for a minute, then just said it. “It wasn’t exactly sex. It certainly wasn’t intercourse. It was just…being manipulated. It was while I was captive and being pressed for information. Any way she could discomfit me, any string she could pull. She was trying to get an advantage.”

Vex’s face fell. “Oh, Percy.”

“I suppose you know who I mean.”

Her voice shook. “I do, and suddenly I want to kill her all over again.”

To his own surprise, Percy almost laughed. The resulting sound was bitterly humorous and strange. “She’d deserve that for any number of crimes before we got as far as this one. Honestly, in her own mind, I suspect I was just an experiment she wanted to push to extremes. Little more.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“No,” he agreed, and rubbed his eyes. His glasses had gotten discarded somewhere along the line, and he was grateful for the blurriness that remained even when he opened his eyes again. “It did make a number of things confusing for a while.”

“I can imagine,” Vex said uncomfortably. “And what came after?”

“Honestly, it was…fragmentary. There was one time, back when I was working on the boat, that my compatriots dragged me along on an excursion to a brothel. That was…odd. Granted, at the time, so was I.”

Vex smiled lopsidedly. “You’re still odd, darling.”

“Thank you, dear,” he said dryly. “It wasn’t as productive as I suspect they’d hoped. I didn’t get very far before I realized the woman seemed wary. It wasn’t anything I did, I dearly hope, but something was off. Demons on my mind, I suppose.” He smiled wryly. “As soon as I realized, I backed off. Then she tried to apologize to _me_ , and I just felt worse.”

“So what did you do?”

“Paid her twice the going rate,” Percy said, “which was no small expenditure for me, and told her I’d go. She was sympathetic enough to kiss me goodbye, at least. Or appreciative of the coin.” He shook his head. “Then, of course, I got made fun of as soon as I got downstairs. Lots of comments about young men being quick to finish.”

“Well, they’ve clearly never been with you on a good night.”

“I wasn’t having many of those at the time.”

“Explains why brothels were never your thing, I suppose.”

“Were they ever yours?”

“Sometimes.” She shrugged noncommittally. “Like I said, I had my fun. Sex just wasn’t the only way to have it.” She thought about that for a second. “It could be _awfully_ fun, though.”

“So you eventually found some people who weren’t disappointing.”

“Telling them what I wanted helped,” Vex said. “I do enjoy the sort who can take direction.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

Vex grinned and settled back down next to him, tracing out idle patterns on his chest. “So who was the first who was good? There has to be a better story to tell.”

He blinked. A long-neglected memory began pricking at him. “Well…there was a man I got to know when I was trying to learn about weapon-making. Talented. Interesting. Interested. There was flirting I didn’t notice for a while.” He gave a self-deprecating smile. “I’d almost forgotten that once, I’d been interested in the heroes right along with the sorceresses, I guess you could say. Mostly it hadn’t even seemed right to think about that.”

She looked surprised. “Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Traditionalist parents? Expectations? It didn’t seem like a likely option. And of course then everything else happened. So it was well out of mind for a while.” Percy’s thoughts drifted back. “It didn’t get far; I left too soon. But there were a few moments. Some touches that…escalated.”

“Ooh,” she said teasingly. “Escalation. Now we’re getting somewhere.”

“Don’t look too excited. It didn’t get all the way to proper sex, either.”

She huffed, frustrated. “Then who _was_ it, Percy? Your first really good lay?”

He gave her a look. “You’re really set on hearing about this, aren’t you?”

“There better have been _somebody,_ ” she said. “I mean, if it was me, I’ll be flattered, don’t get me wrong, but I hope you didn’t have to wait that long.” She paused. “Let me rephrase. If it took you _that fucking long_ to finally do something about it when you could have been boinking me a long time ago, that’s even _more_ a tragedy of wasted time.”

“I agree with you about the wasted time,” he told her, “and I am always happy to flatter you, because you are most deserving. But if you really want to know the first…” He said it simply in the end. “Lillith. That was Lillith.”

She went wide-eyed, visibly realizing how obvious it ought to have been. “Oh,” she said softly.

“It was impulsive,” he admitted, “and we were both in a state, and I’m sure it wasn’t wise. But it was good. She was kind, and…”

A memory flickered across his mind, one of an ecstatic gasp in a language he hadn’t understood: something oddly like Celestial turned inside out, all sibilants and edges where the ringing vowels should be. A shiver of sensation went through him.

“It was good,” he repeated, perhaps inadequately. “And I have no regrets.”

He wasn’t sure how Vex would take that. What she said, though, firmly and fiercely, was, “Well, then I’m glad.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am.”

An ache of affection stole over him. She promptly spoiled the effect by adding, “That said, if she ever shows up to visit? Just…don’t do that again.”

Percy laughed. “Well. That’s fair.”

“And I hope those letters you get from her and don’t share with me aren’t too spicy.”

“You have nothing to fear from that correspondence,” he told her. “But I will say that a man has to have a few secrets.”

She pouted briefly, but at last echoed him. “All right, fair.”

“Good.” He settled back down, deliberately relaxing as if the matter was resolved. Then he commented, deceptively idly, “It doesn’t have to be an either-or, you know. You were the one who brought up threesomes.”

This time, it was Vex’s turn to stare at Percy in amazement. He kept his eyes open just long enough to make note of that, then let them drift shut and smiled. “Just a thought,” he said.

She sputtered briefly, then laughed once, possibly even at herself. “All right, Percival,” she said pointedly. “If the situation ever arises? There will be a discussion.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“And boundaries.”

“Of course.”

“And stop _smirking._ ”

“I’m taking you entirely seriously.” He prized one eye open to look her way, and with a small gesture, said, “Come here.”

She went on pouting, but finally gave in and curled back up with him. He could tell from the way she relaxed, too, going warm and pliant against him, that her pout didn’t last for long. Percy kissed the crown of her head, then sighed and let himself drop back against the cushions.

“After all that,” he murmured, “I ought to ask…”

“Hmm?”

“Who was _your_ first that was worth it?”

She huffed a laugh. Then she turned to look at him directly.

“Depends,” she said. “If we’re just talking about sex, I’ve got stories. But if you want to talk about everything else? People who matter, and moments I will _never_ forget?”

Something in her tone made Percy catch his breath. Vex went still, too, watching him closely, and an odd, bright glimmer shone in her eyes.

Then she said offhandedly, “Yeah, it was definitely Callan the Stallion at the Dewdrop in Stilben.”

“I’m sorry, did you just—Callan the what?”

“Oh, he earned every inch of that title, let me tell you.”

“You _would_ have to put it like that.”

“And it wasn’t the only thing about him that stood out. Although it was the most literal part that did.”

“All right, now you’re just pulling my leg.”

Vex grinned and poised herself to say something else outrageous. Percy decided the most expedient method of dealing with it was simply to tug her closer and kiss her into blissful silence.

Vex went along with it so happily that when all else was said and done, he felt like he’d gotten the only answer that mattered.

—

_v._

Many hours later, after an enthusiastic round of sex, one last drink together, and finally an attempt at sleep, Percy cracked his eyes open, evaluated the unfortunate evidence, and hoarsely pronounced, “Oh, hell. This…this is morning.”

A bird outside chose that moment to carol its call to the skies. Percy winced at the volume. A familiar voice beside him sympathetically replied, “I’m afraid so, darling.”

“I would like to lodge a formal complaint about that.”

“I’m sure the Dawnfather would be willing to hear a son of Whitestone out.”

Percy, who was far less sure about that, started trying to push himself upright. A sudden throb from his head made him decide against it. “Ungh. How much of the Courage did we drink last night?”

“To be honest, I don’t want to get up to check.”

“You’re right. That seems like a dreadful amount of work.”

“So does closing the curtains, but you have a point. That sunlight’s awfully bright.”

“You could just call for someone. You _are_ the lady of the house.”

“That,” Vex said, “would just be embarrassing.”

They were still, however inadvisedly, lying on the floor atop the much-abused pile of cushions. Last night’s mutual exertions had made something of a mess of things. The tally of those damages included the self-incurred ones, going by the state of Percy’s headache, and the long-suffering groan Vex made when she finally got up to do something about the drapes. Percy just closed his eyes until the light level in the room dimmed somewhat. “Thank you, dear.”

“I think I deserve more than just thanks for that,” Vex said, plopping down onto what sounded like the edge of the nearby bed. “That was a heroic effort.”

“Downright valiant,” Percy agreed. His eyes were still closed. “I’m certain that will go into the history books. Right alongside the dragonslaying. And the felling of Whitestone’s greatest foes. And…” A small throw pillow thumped down atop his head. “Ow.”

“Now I feel better,” Vex said.

Percy lifted one hand to move the pillow and make a face at her. There was another sound, though, one of a deep huff and heavy footsteps. He also suddenly caught a wild, distinct scent. Percy barely had time to brace himself before the pillow was tugged away, and a large, dark head nosed at him. Percy spluttered. Vex just laughed. “Ungh. What…”

“Say good morning, darling. He’s glad to see you.”

“All right, all right. Good morning, Trinket.” Percy said, even as he futilely tried to push the bear back.

Vex leaned forward during all of this to scritch Trinket’s head. “Hello, Trinket. I trust you slept well?”

Trinket huffed again, blowing Percy’s hair back, and padded over to Vex instead, leaving Percy to grab for something to wipe his face dry. He hoped it wasn’t the same corner of his shirt he’d cleaned himself off with last night.

“You know,” he said, “you’re nicer to Trinket in the mornings than to anyone else. Including me.”

She put her hands alongside Trinket’s cheeks and bent in for a nose-to-nose nuzzle. “Don’t be silly, Percy. I’m always nice to you.”

He lifted both the pillow and an eyebrow, but Vex wasn’t paying attention. She kissed Trinket’s forehead and patted his shoulder instead. Percy shook his head, but fondly, and finally went about getting up.

By the time he’d relieved himself and freshened up, taking his time to try to make himself presentable, Vex had obviously tended to her own toilet and returned as well. She was wandering around the room, still naked but distinctly less rumpled, and was picking things up bit by bit. Trinket was helping, in his way. Percy got back just in time to hear Vex rushing after an overturned bottle and calling out, “Oh, baby, no, don’t lick that up…”

Percy looked to see Trinket sampling the spilled whiskey. “Given his constitution,” he pointed out while reaching for something to wear, “I doubt a few drops of any of this will hurt him.”

Trinket made a funny smacking noise, evaluating the flavor. He looked skeptical. Vex watched him a moment, amused, before he wandered off again to investigate something else. Percy went to Vex, intending to help her sort out the rest of the mess. 

What happened instead was that Vex turned around, a half-filled bottle dangling from one hand, to press herself against him for a kiss. Percy melted into it. The shirt he’d been intending to put on slipped from his fingers to the floor.

“See?” she whispered when their lips parted, still standing close and feeling tantalizingly warm against his bare skin. “I’m very, very nice to you.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he said, distracted.

“And good morning to you, too,” she added, her gaze flicking pointedly downward.

Percy laughed and drew back before their conversation could get entirely derailed by a third party. He reached for the bottle she was holding. “Which one did you find?”

“I don’t even know,” Vex admitted, while Percy squinted, still without his glasses, to try to read the label. “But the way I’m feeling right now…”

“Maybe a little hair of the dog would be an appropriate strategy?”

By way of answer, Vex took the bottle back, downed a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, and then, to Percy’s amusement, made a face much like Trinket’s moments before. “Maybe,” she said. “Or maybe not.”

“Here, then. Come sit with me.”

She set the bottle aside and went with him to the bed, where they perched comfortably on the mattress and looked at each other. Vex, waiting for whatever Percy had intended to say, looked up expectantly. He combed his hair back with one hand and finally said, “I meant to say something else last night.”

“What was it, darling?”

He suddenly felt oddly vulnerable, but he said it anyway. “Thank you. For listening.”

Her smile went sympathetic. “To the difficult parts?”

“To all of it. I’ve never really talked with anyone about any of this. It’s strange, but…it helps, I think.”

Vex gently kissed his shoulder, right over the Slayer’s Take brand, then pillowed her head there, reaching for his hand. “I _want_ you to be at ease with all of it. Sex and love and what you want.”

“I know.”

“We didn’t even get to some of the bigger questions.” He looked down at her while she said it, and interlaced his fingers with hers. “Like…what else you want. What you fantasize about _now._ ”

“There’s…a few answers to that,” Percy said thoughtfully. He rubbed his thumb back and forth atop her hand. “But maybe it’s better to go into that with a clear head.”

“Entirely reasonable.”

“You’re not usually the one who talks about being reasonable.” He didn’t say it without humor, even though he couldn’t help but feel relieved. “You’re more the encouraging-wild-abandon type. Especially while we’re naked in bed.”

“Well, on the bed, right now.”

“I think you’re picking up my pedantry.”

“And Trinket is just over there,” she added, pointing to the bear who was upsetting a pile of cushions to root out what looked like the mead. “He’s seen pretty much everything already, but still.”

“Fair point.” He gave her a sidelong look. “So you do have _some_ modesty.”

“Some. But only just.”

“I enjoy that about you, you know.”

“I do,” she said, sounding a little bit smug. “And I enjoy getting you like this.”

“What, naked and exposed and licked awake by bears?”

She poked him, but her answer was serious. “No. Just…open. Unguarded. I know it’s not easy for you.” She leaned against him again. “So thank you, too.”

He didn’t answer, but he pulled her in close. In that moment, he could practically feel Vex smile.

And when Trinket’s meanderings ended up pulling a curtain down by accident, neither of them got up to do anything about it. They just sat there together, comfortably entwined, and enjoyed the warmth of the sunlight as it spilled inside at last.


End file.
